Workings of Fate, Part I - The Door That Separates
by Kalico37
Summary: Raven knows that she can't deny it any longer, even though she is only sixteen. Fate has called upon her, and now she must answer. No matter what she may feel, she knows, deep down, that it is time for her to move on. Part I of a one-shot trilogy. Rated T, because that's my thing.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Teen Titans or any original characters/locations/etc. from the series. But I'd like to think I can lay claim to this particular, overarching, three-part story concept centered around my absolute favorite character from the show.**

* * *

**Late November. 2007. (Age: 16)**

I open my eyes, and breathe deeply, embracing the silent sounds of morning. I gaze out across the ocean, rolling slowly, as it tends to do at such an early hour. It is enlightening, to discover the extent to which my renunciation of Trigon as my _father_ changed my outlook, many months ago. For the better, one could say.

This moment is an example. I rather enjoy basking in the sunrise every morning, upon the roof of the tower. It is a practice that I adopted long ago, but until that decisive moment, I was only ever able to take it in stride, appreciating the peace it represented. Now, I am more able to see the sunrise for the beauty it actually is. I have to say, the feeling is quite…hmm, I suppose "nice" is the best word to describe it.

This fresh perspective started out simple, with small things such as enjoying the radiance of a sunrise. That was something of a gateway, or a tipping point, towards a new experience. Now, I am able to fully appreciate the minutiae of life, whether it be the mindless, humorous banter of friends, or the relaxing tranquility of a cup of tea, or, what started it all, this picturesque beauty of a vista.

I have to reluctantly tear my gaze away; all too soon, that familiar, nagging voice attempts to worm itself to the forefront of my mind. Rather than ignore it, I ponder it. And then I bow my head in sorrowful acceptance. That small moment of deliberation has cemented my judgment of what I must do.

I suppose I have been postponing this foregone outcome for far too long now. Every day for the last three months, from the beginning of September to now, late November, this voice in the back of my head has reminded me of what Fate is asking me to do, and every day of those three months, I have tried to remove that voice from my consciousness. But to do so requires so much effort on the part of my mentality and my psychological balance, and I am so tired now. Too tired to deny my Fate any longer.

Every day for the last three months, my Fate has been asking me to leave the Teen Titans, and to never come back. After three months of denials, and doubts, and now the eventual resignation, I am finally ready to answer.

I close my eyes and stand. I raise a hand, the area around it glowing with black, towards the rooftop entrance door, and it swings open.

I sigh. I almost wish that it had somehow refused to open, so that it would give me an incentive to uncharacteristically waste the morning looking out over the ocean.

But alas, I must take my leave from the rooftop to go ahead with my morning ablutions: breakfast, the usual herbal tea, and other various trials associated with the early hours. I take two steps towards the beckoning door, and turn my head back to the sunrise. I realize that this could be, and might very well be, the last time I see this picture from the heights of Titans Tower. I am glad that I will be able to remember it with such vivid detail. Maybe, one day, I will recreate it in a painting. If I ever learn to paint, that is.

I feel two tears tracking down my left cheek, and I touch them with my fingers. Surprising. Such _raw_ emotion should hardly be associated with me. I brush my sleeve gently across my cheek, removing the traces. As I step down the stairs, away from the rooftop, away from the panorama, I debate internally as to whether I should leave my hood down or pull it up. My hands grasp the fabric, but I hesitate, and let them fall to my sides, as I proceed further down, towards the level.

I suppose there is nothing wrong with presenting a more open presence amongst my team. After all, this is my last day.

* * *

"Beast Boy! Watch that flip there! I don't want any tofu on my cape!"

"Sorry man! Hey, Cy? Want some?"

"Pfft, please! Just hurry up over there so I can cook some real food!"

Ah, my teammates. My friends. The same, mindless banter which I'm sure two years ago would have irritated me to the point of turning around and heading to my room, but, this is a special occasion, after all, and I'd like to think of myself as being tolerant, at the very least. I take a deep breath, and brace myself for what may result of my sure-to-be-unpopular announcement. The door slides open, and I emerge into the Main Operations Room. I nonchalantly glide over to the kitchen area, to join the conversation already in progress.

Starfire notices my approach with a smile. "Good morning, Friend-Raven! How are you today?"

I bite my lip. No, still too soon. I manage a slight smile of my own. "Fine, Starfire," I reply as I make my way over to the kettle.

"Raven! Tofu?" Beast Boy asks me, shoving the frying pan in my face.

I mentally focus on the pan, and it pushes away from me with a black glow. "No. Thank you."

The shape-shifter shrugs. "More for me, then!"

Cyborg shoves him out of the way, and starts heating a pan of his own. "Great! Now, if you don't mind, I'm cooking over here."

I observe the scene from my seat at the counter, and take a sip of delightful tea. How I wish I could allow myself to indulge in this "togetherness," and delay what must be done. Maybe, if I muster enough energy, I could…

No, I need to do this. Just go ahead, and rip the metaphorical bandage off.

"Ahem," I clear my throat. Much to my annoyance, it appears that no one has heard me. But…it's not like there is any other noise interfering with my intentions. Did I actually vocalize, or did I merely imagine myself clearing my throat to get everyone's attention?

Sigh. I'm obsessing now. Procrastinating. Just get it over and done with, Raven. You can do this. You _have _to do this.

"Ahem!"

Oh, boy. Now everybody's staring at me. What do I do, what do I do, what do I-

"Something wrong, Raven?" Robin asks me.

The words are so close, but they hitch in my throat. I can't do this. Maybe I should try and deny Fate for a little longer-

"I have to leave."

Now who said that? Who interrupted my train of thought? By Azar, I swear I will…oh, it was me.

Cyborg scratches his head. "Uh, okay. We'll, see you later, I guess…"

My eyes are wide in confusion, as they all start turning back to whatever they were doing previously. No, no, no. This is not how I pictured this moment, at all. Strike one.

"No!" I burst out. There's the staring again. Okay, I _can _do this. No turning back now. "I mean, I have to _leave_, leave."

Really, Raven? Three months in the waiting, and that's the best you came up with? Fine then. Strike two. One more chance.

Starfire looks at me with concern. "Raven, whatever do you mean? Is everything alright?"

"My friends," I draw out. Okay, good start. "I can't express how much I've come to appreciate you all in my life over the journey," I despise the way my voice sounds right now. "Which is why I have dreaded this moment for the last three months.

"The time has come for me to leave the Teen Titans, for good." I stare straight ahead, making sure to catch the eye of every one of them. Yep, that one's out of the park.

The collective response of the team is moreover unanimous in their shock and immediate denial of my declaration. Over the noise, though, I notice Robin, who has simply folded his arms and is frowning sadly at me. I look at him pleadingly, and it appears to take him a moment to catch my intention.

"Team," he calls out, and everyone calms down almost simultaneously. "Let her finish."

I open my mouth to speak, but Beast Boy beats me to it. "You're kidding, right, Raven?"

"Yeah, don't joke around like that, Rae," Cyborg warns me.

"Friend-Raven…" Starfire looks crestfallen.

I hold up my hand. There's no glowing black aura, just the weight of the situation to close their mouths. The silence is my cue. Another deep breath is in order, I think. "Every day for the last three months, my Fate has been compelling me, telling me that I must leave. For good. I have tried, so hard, to delay it, but it was inevitable. I cannot deny my Fate any longer. It dictates that I need things to change, and, after everything with Trigon, and the Dark Brotherhood, I feel that perhaps the time has come for such a change. I hope you can understand, or even forgive me, if you feel that is necessary."

Still, Robin is the only one that shows some sign of understanding what I'm talking about. "Raven, are you sure about this?"

I nod, making sure it is as convincing as possible. I can't afford a backwards step at this point. I have to follow through with this.

The leader breaks away from the group and heads to the door. He motions for me to follow, which I do without hesitation. Before I exit, I glance back over my shoulder at the others, who look nothing short of devastated at my news. And then the door closes behind me, separating them from the two of us in the hallway.

I look at Robin, who seems as if he has something to say. I manage to beat him. "Don't try and talk me out of this, Robin. I'm too tired to argue with anyone."

He holds up his hands. "I just need to make sure you know what you're doing here, Raven. Are you sure you're alright? You're not having any problems?"

I succeed in smiling weakly. "I'm fine. Mentally exhausted, perhaps, but otherwise, I'm fine. Putting whether or not I have a choice in this matter aside, I suppose I'm finally ready to move on with life, or at least, I hope I am," I chuckle. "It's funny; I'm only sixteen, and I'm already leaving the nest."

"Raven, I'd call that 'worrying' more than I would call it funny," Robin crosses his arms. "Why are you just accepting this? You're letting your 'Fate' rule your decisions. No one can know the future for certain. Who's to say that you've cracked the code?"

"Robin, if I were anyone else, I would be much more inclined to agree with you," I sigh wearily. "We all remember what happened with Trigon. The Prophecy surrounding me since birth came to fruition, no matter how much we tried to circumvent it. But look at what happened on the other side of the Prophecy; I got better, and we defeated Trigon. And even later than that, we beat the Dark Brotherhood. Can I say that my Fate commandeered what happened to me? I cannot say with certainty. But the more I dwell on it, the more I know that this is what I must do, regardless of any sort of cosmic intervention or guidance."

"And you won't be coming back."

"As a Titan, no, never. But as a boring civilian? Who knows? Maybe one day in the future."

Robin shakes his head, but more in resignation than denial. "Well, what are you going to do with yourself? What are you going to do about money, or accommodation?"

I wave my hand dismissively. "I have access to multiple accounts, with funds to see me through for life. As for accommodation…I'll find somewhere. Or I might not. I might take a sabbatical. Make my way to the East Coast, eventually, maybe. I'm quite partial to a cooler winter. I don't know. But I can't stay here in the tower. It's as simple as that, really."

"You'd have to learn how to drive, first."

Okay, he has a point there. "I suppose so."

"When do you plan to leave?"

"As soon as I possibly can. Noon? This afternoon? As soon as I can sort things out."

Robin is staggered. "Well, I suppose that's that, then."

"I suppose it is," I parrot. "I, uh, should probably get my things together."

"Yeah, and I should probably, talk to the others, then," the awkward tension in the air is palpable, but it is broken when Robin turns towards the door. I am about to turn away myself, but something tells me that more can be said. "Robin," I stop him from proceeding through the open doorway. "Thank you…for understanding what I have to do. I know it's not easy."

Looks like that was what it needed; he smiles at me and nods, before he re-enters the Main Operations Room to converse with the others.

I watch the door slide shut again, and lean back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling. I take a moment to draw some more deep, shaky breaths. I feel my knees give way as I start to slide down against the wall, and I don't do anything to stop it, feeling myself hit the floor. I want to curl up into a ball for the rest of my life. But I can't. I need to exercise control over the situation. I've maintained composure for the better part of sixteen years; I don't need that to crumble now, at the one moment where I need to remain strong.

But despite that; never, again, shall I go through that torture.

I let my head drop into my hands for a moment. I'm glad that I can't hear whatever words are being exchanged on the other side of that door, because I'm sure that they would be less than supportive of my revelations.

I permit myself to simply sit against the wall for a moment, but no longer. I need to get moving. I stand and proceed down the hall, shaking my head to myself as I realize something.

I didn't get to finish my tea.

* * *

I look around my now-empty room. Well, I suppose not completely empty. I'm taking all of my clothes, books, and other various items, but obviously my bed and shelves are staying right where they are. I'm lucky I was able to find suitcases to hold all of this stuff. I never realized just how much I'd accumulated during my tenure as a Titan. Not that it will present an issue of over-encumbrance; all I need to physically carry on my person is my "mirror," the gateway to my personal realm of Nevermore. I affix the handle to my belt. There. That realm is going to hold everything until I find somewhere. Talk about women who carry mental baggage. I exerted quite an amount of energy altering the states of my possessions so that they could be held in Nevermore, but I'd much rather have a slight headache as opposed to breaking my back shifting my things down to the Entryway of the tower. Besides, it's also much easier than having Cyborg drive me into Jump, and the two of us heaving suitcases out of the T-Car to my new apartment.

Speaking of which, I managed to find a decent apartment out in Jump City to hold me over for the time being, when I went out earlier. All it required was a security deposit, which made no conceivable dent in my funds, but the landlord was less than impressed when I'd told her I needed the apartment immediately. But no matter. She had changed her opinion quite quickly with some…_persuasive_ influence.

So, here I stand, ready to leave. Ready to fulfill what Fate has been asking of me and move on with my life. I feel…well, indifferent, to be perfectly honest. Should I feel some sort of remorse or sadness? I don't know. I feared this moment earlier this morning, but now that it's actually upon me, I simply feel resigned to it. Maybe I'll feel some sort of depressing emotion about it later tonight, when it eventually hits home. But for now, I need to head down to the Entryway, and soldier through some sure-to-be-unbearable goodbyes.

* * *

Beast Boy is first. He morphs into a puppy and leaps into my arms.

"Don't lick me," I warn him. He looks up at me with big eyes and yelps, wriggling out of my arms and morphing back into his human form.

"See ya around, Raven," he says sadly, enclosing me in a brief hug.

"Goodbye, Beast Boy," I reply, and he releases me. "Keep at it; I'm sure I'll find your jokes funny one day."

He gives me a smile. "If you want, I'll transform into a dog again and start barking at you."

I roll my eyes. "Let me guess, 'what do you call a cross between a raven and a mad dog?'"

"A raven lunatic!" he laughs. I shake my head at him, but I give him points for spontaneity.

Starfire not-so-gently shoves him out of the way and latches onto me with a crushing hug. "Oh, goodbye, Friend-Raven! How I will miss you!"

"Starfire, please," I croak out. "My ribcage is threatening to collapse."

"Oh!" she lets me go, with a somewhat embarrassed expression.

I take a couple deep breaths to stave off the light-headedness. "I'll miss you too, Starfire. Good luck being the last girl standing," I smirk at her.

Cyborg next. Rather than hug me, he lays a hand on my shoulder and looks down at me. "Bye, Rae. Good luck."

I take note of how gentle, yet simple, the parting message is. It's rather touching, actually. I throw my arms around him. "Thank you, for being the big brother, and taking care of every one of us, not just me."

Finally, Robin makes his way over. "No matter what happens from now on, just remember: our door is always open, and you are always welcome back here. It could be some time before our paths cross again, but I'm hopeful that they will cross again, one day, and that we can all be together when it happens."

I bow my head respectfully. "Thank you. I hope so also."

Like Cyborg, he too lays a hand on my shoulder. "You're a founder of this team, and you've had a hand in its success just as much as the rest of us. Our lives wouldn't be the same without you in it, and we won't forget you. You mean a lot to each of us, Raven. Promise me you'll never forget that."

By Azar, how much longer can I hold out? I nod. "I promise."

He nods at me and removes his hand from my shoulder. I turn to face the door. This is it. One final obstacle. The door that separates me from my Fate. As I approach, the large door slides open, accompanied by the sound of heavy machinery pulling it along. I continue forward, one foot in front of the other. I can feel the slight chill. It's not quite winter yet, but December and the subsequent cold season is only a matter of days away. I glance down to my hip. My mirror is still there, dangling from my belt.

I come to the end of the Entryway, mere feet from a new life. I look back and smile at my friends, who are being given the unpleasant experience of watching me walk out, I am sure. But if they are hurting, they are hiding it well. I see sad smiles all around, and even a thumbs-up.

"Goodbye," I whisper, barely audible enough for me to hear, but I am sure that they can see me mouth the words all the same.

I turn back to the open space before me, with renewed energy. I pull my hood over my head, to protect my eyes from the burst of sunlight, as I walk, not glide, down the path leading to the edge of the island. Despite my hood, I feel a particular sting across my cheeks where the chill is striking it most. More tears. Fantastic. I'll leave them alone, I guess, and let some repressed sadness escape. I swear, when I was becoming the Portal at the Old Library way back, I didn't shed a single tear. It's only been sparing, but I think I have let more tears slip today than I have in my entire term as a Titan. It's strange, really.

I approach the end of the path, where the island meets the sea. With one final look at the tower, my _former_ home, I rise off the ground and higher into the air, eventually reaching a point in my ascent where I begin to speed away, towards the city.

Are you there, Fate? It's me, Raven. I have answered your call. I have moved on, and I have left the Teen Titans.

Call me back when you get this.

_**To Be Continued...**_

* * *

**So, did we enjoy that? This is my first foray into writing Teen Titans material, and it was an experimental first outing. Hopefully you'll let me know, but hey, do what you want!**

**So the way this works is that this is part the first in a trilogy of one-shots. With this first part posted today (Monday the 6th), the second part will be posted on Wednesday, the 8th, and the third part will be posted on Friday, the 10th. **

**All three will be found individually, and separately, in archive, and as such, it doesn't make much sense to follow any of them, because you won't get an alert when the others go up. The best way to do it is to either be one of those people who peruses the archives on a regular basis (like me) or just follow me, so you can be alerted when the next parts go up. The reason is that each part will have a unique atmosphere to it, and I don't want it to get muddled up by putting them all together. Also the storyline gap between the first two parts is _long._ **

**So there we have it! Keep your eyes out for Part II on Wednesday, the 8th of January!**

**...Truly Yours, Kalico.**


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